The Ger-Bellied Sneeches


The gerrings are quickly becoming the Star-Bellied Sneeches of the Noahide movement. Only the gerring knows the “truth.” Only the gerring is upright and honest. Only the gerring is worthy of respect from their fellow Jewish coreligionists. The old Noahide Law is stifling; the gerring is “free.” The Sola Scriptura view that, since the word “Bnai Noah” is not found in the Written Torah (as opposed to “ger”), both the name “Noahide” and the “Noahide teachings” have less validity. Only a gerring will be “saved” by having front row gerring seats in Olam haBah. This is the message the rabbis who are pushing the gerring teachings are promoting, a message that sounds chillingly reminiscent to a certain organized religion based on the mystical teachings of another rabbi who lived two millennia ago. The smugness of the gerring, to “know ger and you will be free,” is the harbinger of the gerrings leading the Noahide movement down the cultic religious path.

There are two main reasons these rabbis have for promoting the gerring star-bellied Sneech movement. The first one is, of course, money. Gerring conferences, gerring books, gerring yamukles—you name it, they want to sell it to you. These rabbis look at the gerrings as a cash cow, and to paraphrase the old adage, the gerring and his money are easily parted. What these rabbis are doing is making the Torah a spade to “dig deep for salvation.” This is why these gerring rabbis call the “ordinary” Noahides names and encourage their gerrings to criticize Noahides and Noahide teachings—we’re bad for business.

ger yamukle

ger mezuzah

ger conference

The other reason is that the rabbis want to drum up political support for Israel and the Jewish people. While I’m all for that, I remember some years before this whole gerring nonsense started there was a push by certain other rabbis to promote the Ger Toshav and have them move into the buffer zones between Israel and the surrounding Arab nations. The idea behind this was to provide a “first defense” against any Arab attack, and the more cowboy gun-nut gerrings they had, the better. This is all well and good for Israel, but what about all the non-Jews living outside the land of Israel? They don’t even seem to deserve an afterthought. The focus of the gerring is individual salvation.

The idea that the gerring is a better form of Noahide is intellectual dishonesty. For example, take the words of a typical gerring: “The deal is these guys that are trolling FB for Ger writings to twist around… are so afraid that the people they think they have control over will see the truth in the Torah about Ger and drop these no no hide teachings like a hot potato… and you know their [sic] right…”

First of all, the comment about “trolling FB for Ger writings to twist around” is the simple matter of the pot calling the kettle black, seeing how these gerrings have been trolling Noahide blogs to “twist around” on. Just the attitude that the Seven Laws of Noah are “not enough” is misleading.

For another example of the pot calling the kettle black, here is a quote from one of the gerring rabbis, criticizing the anti-gerring movement: “The anti-Ger attacks Ger, often ad hominem…So what characterizes the anti-Ger Jews? Simply this: their emotions are driving their intellect.” Yet in another passive-aggressive post, this same rabbi said of one of my blogs, “There is a fellow out there among the unwashed masses, who is vilifying Ger. He calls it Gerring.” Unwashed masses? Sorry, but I had a shower that morning. For Whom the Bell Trolls.

Secondly, that we “are so afraid that the people they think they have control over will see the truth in the Torah about Ger.” The Noahides—the mitnagdim Noahides—are not about control at all. The mitnagdim Noahides are all about education. For instance, we wish to educate people that rabbis have zero halakhic authority over Noahides in their own sovereign lands and states outside of Eretz Yisrael. It is the gerring that teaches one must submit to the halakhic authority of rabbi so-and-so, not us. It is the gerrings who are all about control. As far as the “truth” about gerring teachings, this is a subjective viewpoint. Any Noahide cognizant of Noahide Law understands that there is no intrinsic difference between a “gerring” and a regular “Noahide” other than the spiritual and mystical “benefits” the gerrings make up for themselves, much like the Sneeches in the Dr. Seuss story.

Third, the idea that people will “drop these no no hide teachings like a hot potato” is wishful thinking. The gerring message appeals to so many ex-Christians simply because there isn’t a whole lot of difference between the gerring and the Christian. The gerring focuses on religion and “beliefs” instead of correct actions (i.e., “faith” as opposed to “works.”) The gerring message is little more than a loophole the ex-Christians use to pursue religion, spirituality and mysticism instead of the halakhic requirements of the Seven Laws. The gerrings whine that “the Seven Laws are so tiny.” What they are really saying is, “we don’t want to do all that social justice stuff, helping the poor, the orphan and the widow. We want to fulfill our selfish ‘spiritual’ needs by doing all the cool stuff the Jews get to do.”

Fourth: anyone who doesn’t know the difference between “their,” “they’re” and “there” shouldn’t be telling anyone what to do according to their “gerring” wisdom. This isn’t about being “grammatically correct.” This is about the ability to write basic English to convey your ideas. If you have poor ideas (i.e., “gerring” ideas), it doesn’t help your cause if you unable to write correctly.

I could go on “trolling” for more juicy gerring quotes, but I will leave that up to you. I trust people can make up their own minds on this matter.


2 thoughts on “The Ger-Bellied Sneeches

  1. “I am told that reviews on is what make books move. So now that The World of the Ger is on It would be helpful if anyone who read the book, and has something nice to say about it, would write a review on Shabbat shalom.”
    — From a Facebook post by Chaim Clorfene

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