One thing that always struck me when reading the New Testament—the “followers” of the Jeezer were hicks. Rubes. Israel’s version of rednecks. Even the so-called “leaders” of the early Jeezer movement—Peter and John—were described in Acts 4:13 in the Greek as “agrammatoi idiotai,” literally “illiterate idiots.”
Christianity has always been popular with those who are on the wrong side of the Bell Curve, as well as for those who lack critical thinking skills. As Tertullian said, “I believe because it is absurd.”
Way to use logic, Tertullian. “I believe because it is absurd.” Sounds about par for Christianity.
Now, I have nothing against honest working country people. But there has always been something about Redneck Christianity that has bothered me, a mixture of arrogance and ignorance that defies all attempts at logic and reason. “Ah don’ care what yew say is in the Bible; ah’m a-gonna believe what ah want ter!”
And now there is a new cult that seems to be attracting the redneck element: the Gerrings. So, in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy, here are a few points to ponder.
- If you think that calling yourself Ger is better than being called a Noahide—you might be a redneck.
- If you think wearing a knit beanie with “GER” stitched on it is part of God’s plan for Noahides—you might be a redneck.
- If you think using terms such as akum and nochri to describe other Noahides who you believe are inferior to you—you might be a redneck.
- If you think keeping Jewish mitzvot which are not commanded to Noahdies (such as Shabbat and eating kosher) gets you special spiritual brownie points from Hashem—you might be a redneck.
- If you think slavishly following rabbinic minority opinions (such as gerrings) will get you a front seat in Olam haBah, even if they go against the Noahide Law—you might be a redneck.
- If you think that being a Jew Wanna-be puts you on a higher spiritual plane—you might be a redneck.
- If you think that turning the Noahide Law into a Gerring religious cult is what Hashem wants—you might be a redneck.
- If you think that the Noahide Law is meant for a narrow demographic of ex-evangelical religious types rather than it being an all-inclusive teaching for all non-Jews—you might be a redneck.